Achmed the Dead Terrorist
One of Jeff Dunham’s many puppets is Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Achmed is portrayed as a skeleton, who was a suicide bomber before he died. One of his most famous lines is “Silence…I KILL YOU!”
Courtesy of IMDb.com, here are a few of Jeff’s encounters with Achmed:
Jeff Dunham: So if you’re a terrorist, I suppose you have some kind of specialty.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Yes. I am a suicide bomber.
Jeff Dunham: Ah. So, you’re finished.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: What?
Jeff Dunham: You’ve done your job.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No I haven’t.
Jeff Dunham: But you’re dead.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No I’m not. I feel fine.
Jeff Dunham: But you’re all bone.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: It’s a flesh wound.
Jeff Dunham: So you’re Muslim?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I don’t think so.
Jeff Dunham: You don’t think you’re Muslim?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No.
Jeff Dunham: Why not?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Look at my ass. It says: “Made in China”.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Wait, if I’m dead, that means I get my 72 virgins!
[looks at audience]
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Are you my virgins? I hope not.
Jeff Dunham: Why?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: There’s a bunch of ugly-ass guys out there!
Jeff Dunham: So do you like being in D.C.?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I think some idiots must live here.
Jeff Dunham: Why?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: For example, The Washington Monument.
Jeff Dunham: Yes?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: It looks nothing like the guy. It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton.
